My admiration lies in my critique
Since you don't respond to responses and since you always have that affectionate warm smile and since you know I am your one-of-a-kind of a reader, and since I know you write in trans sometimes unable to explain your own poems, I think in this otherwise brilliantly written poem, the third stanza is most horribly and awkwardly placed, in fact it doesn't have a place in the poem. I would have removed it. You could argue on a lot of things to justify the intruder, despite it(S3) coming with an odd 6 in the otherwise 4-5-5 symmetry by talking about chemistry and about flowery lips, but L1/S4 falls much more comfortably with L4/S2 than L1/S3. If you have to look for a new lover, you can go (only for this you had to compromise on bringing an unwanted song)? What could be the purpose, what were you thinking?-Supratik Sen, Kolkata
Since you don't respond to responses and since you always have that affectionate warm smile and since you know I am your one-of-a-kind of a reader, and since I know you write in trans sometimes unable to explain your own poems, I think in this otherwise brilliantly written poem, the third stanza is most horribly and awkwardly placed, in fact it doesn't have a place in the poem. I would have removed it. You could argue on a lot of things to justify the intruder, despite it(S3) coming with an odd 6 in the otherwise 4-5-5 symmetry by talking about chemistry and about flowery lips, but L1/S4 falls much more comfortably with L4/S2 than L1/S3. If you have to look for a new lover, you can go (only for this you had to compromise on bringing an unwanted song)? What could be the purpose, what were you thinking?-Supratik Sen, Kolkata
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