Wednesday, May 26, 2010

MOODS

Satish,your first stanza ostensibly establishes a nexus of co-ordinated substance....However, you lost me...and i dare say most of us, after segwaying from the bigotry of endogamy into intimating that such activity be angelic, or seraphic? You then suddenly take us to the moon ,at night, for purification? Light? Yet you close by afternoon ....Moods is indeed an apropos title....as you cover many tones & settings in this very mercurial work. As i have always said, in my comments to you,Satish...diction is not your problem...it is application/placement of certain lexicon, parlance & what i consider to be some very prolix & grandiloquent vernacular that does not confluence well, and in fact convolutes the work to a point far beyond any averagely intelligent Reader's comprehesion.Also, in my opinion...the over employment of "effect" language takes away from some very creative & meritable phrasage you have conjured up. Just my opinion...Nothing personal,like i always say...Still think you'd be doing you & this site a tremendous service by utelizing the prelude to the poem box to offer some brief insight as to the piece we are about to read....Your Call...- FjR (Frank James Ryan Jr)

http://www.poetfreak.com/

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