Dear Vermaji,
I read the poem thrice as it was interesting and intriguing same time. I searched for 'moonache' but could not find any meaning. I appreciate if you can clarify. I just took it as meaning 'moonshine' and proceeded for the time being.
Coming to the poem ... "self flegellation of waves on the beach' is both an excellent word picture as well as a good observation well recorded.
The epilogue seemed too soon, if I got you right, when two stanzas before you mentioned of an encounter between two eyes. Nevertheless, its fine. I thought the essay of truth into which the two plunged lasts longer.
And finally, the adjective 'illicit' before drops conveys some uncomfortable meaning to me... like incest...when you followed it with 'the upper lip of the virgin'. Is it deliberate?
On the whole your poem leaves the reader with a lingering fragrance of the virgin lips... as elusive and enigmatic as her heart.
best regards, NS Murty
http://museindia.com
I read the poem thrice as it was interesting and intriguing same time. I searched for 'moonache' but could not find any meaning. I appreciate if you can clarify. I just took it as meaning 'moonshine' and proceeded for the time being.
Coming to the poem ... "self flegellation of waves on the beach' is both an excellent word picture as well as a good observation well recorded.
The epilogue seemed too soon, if I got you right, when two stanzas before you mentioned of an encounter between two eyes. Nevertheless, its fine. I thought the essay of truth into which the two plunged lasts longer.
And finally, the adjective 'illicit' before drops conveys some uncomfortable meaning to me... like incest...when you followed it with 'the upper lip of the virgin'. Is it deliberate?
On the whole your poem leaves the reader with a lingering fragrance of the virgin lips... as elusive and enigmatic as her heart.
best regards, NS Murty
http://museindia.com
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