the unlucky sex
was on fire?
hands off the mouth/
life was eating death?
this needs work.- Tiko Lewis
Some thoughts obn tightening your draft. Maggie
The issue was a bridge
without a river;
tongues fighting
a wordless journey.
The unlucky were on fire
after the explosion.
Life was eating death.
The bells did not ring today.
God was dead.- maggie flanagan-wilkie
I like Maggie's revision...there is an interesting bite to this piece with the clarification.- Michelle Beth Cronk
was on fire?
hands off the mouth/
life was eating death?
this needs work.- Tiko Lewis
The issue was a bridge
without a river;
tongues fighting
a wordless journey.
The unlucky were on fire
after the explosion.
Life was eating death.
The bells did not ring today.
God was dead.- maggie flanagan-wilkie
No comments:
Post a Comment